She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
