I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
