we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dignity is for republicans.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I have post one night stand depression
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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