So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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