Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
