But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
