We're facebook friends in real life
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
