My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
