At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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