Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
