ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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