brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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