Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
its liver damage thursday
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
