no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
