Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
two words...techno handjob
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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