Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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