i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
and she was petting her beer can
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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