The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
