I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
