I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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