He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
