She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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