Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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