Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
