we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
