You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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