I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
