Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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