i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
