Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize