Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There's always time for handjobs
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I want a musical about memes.
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