shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize