New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
