Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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