im six kinds of drunk right now
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
