another moral hangover. fuck.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
