my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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