i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
