we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
