I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
