We won't sleep together?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
