so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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