Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
