Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
