It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
