The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
