I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
