I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
