So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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