She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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