my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
