If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
