420 ftw
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
