Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
