The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
