fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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