i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
