I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
